Seeking Happiness is Futile

The Goal should be Mental Homeostasis aka Zen

Happiness, like other emotions - is fleeting. In our plastic, materialistic society it is usually associated with money. As in the more you have - the more happy or at least less stressed you will be. While there is some truth to this (after achieving $70-80,000 salary), it is not the whole story.

As someone who grew up around old money in Connecticut and NYC, I can tell you from hanging with a variety of rich folks over many years - neurosis knows no socioeconomic boundaries. The rich are often just as stressed out via depression and anxiety as the rest of us. The only difference is the drugs they consume to deal with it. They can afford seeing expensive psychiatrists and paying big bucks for all types of purposely addictive ($profits) pharmaceutical medications. While the middle class and poor medicate with more affordable options like alcohol, marijuana and illegal narcotics. Of course a few drugs overlap and find addicts on all levels of the social ladder - alcohol and cocaine are two big popular ones.

Why most people are anxious and depressed is pretty obvious at this point to any half way intelligent person. Yet every age has had its heavy shit to face, the current state of things among humans and their relationship to the earth in the early 21st century is unusually crazy. Yes, crazy as in insane because we are knowingly destroying the planet and ourselves via our toxic consuming behaviors. Yet it is mostly because of a small handful of insane rich people that have the most money and power to control the flow of events and destinies of almost 9 billion humans and all other living things on the planet. Nothing new under sun except that now advanced technology ups the odds of total annihilation of our species along with the many that are already extinct because of humans.

But this essay is not about all the things that suck because fortunately there are still many things that are awesome. I still believe that most people are good most of the time in spite of all the gloom and doom scrolling corporate algorithms that pushes us to think otherwise. Yet we are definitely are at a critical juncture in the human story and if we don’t get our shit together soon - it’s game over folks.

I am writing about the futile pursuit of happiness. This is part of our American creed as the founding fathers even put it in the Declaration of Independence as natural rights as in ‘Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness’. Well I am here to tell you it’s a waste of time and energy and actually does harm to our mental health.

Happiness like sadness is a temporary state of mind as is every other emotion. When it happens, it is usually after we accomplish something or during sublime moments making simple yet profound observations in times of satiated relaxation. Still we chase happiness like a drug addict, every minute of every day. Many ask themselves - am I happy? all the time! There are billion dollar happiness pursuit industries still going strong after decades, even after dismal results. Depression and anxiety are at all time highs in the USA.

I believe that happiness should not be our main goal in life. If it happens - great - go with it and enjoy the moment. But that’s it - it’s just a fleeting moment here and there on our cosmic journeys through life. So why stress out because you are not happy?

Being content is the answer. Being content is different than being happy. It is a neutral state of mind. Like Buddha’s mindfulness and Lao Tzu’s Taoist go with the flow teachings. Simple awareness and equanimity without getting too into whatever emotion pops up from our hyper busy minds on a minute to minute basis.

The human body has a natural healthy homeostasis default setting. Whenever we get sick or injured our bodies heal over time and go back to a physical state known as homeostasis. A bio-physics human state like an elastic band that snaps back into its original shape after you stretch it.

Our mind also has such a natural state that we can refer to Mental Homeostasis. But it does take some effort and mind training to maintain it. Our primitive fight or flight impulses deeply rooted in our brain’s inner core layers, mixed with an over stimulated modern world make it a challenge. Yet many of us have known better for thousands of years thanks to deep thinkers and gurus of the past, many who we still study and many others whose names are lost to history.

Breathing is key and becoming focused on our steady breath allows oxygen to flood the brain and calms the primitive emotional mind. Being content is a much more realistic goal than happiness in a crazy modern world geared toward superficial and selfish pleasures.

Finally, the definition of happiness varies according to different sources/cultures, but the great universal teachers lean toward a realistic goal of a contentment like happiness versus some artificially forced and fake type of unrealistic happiness that the profit seeking happiness industries promote via corporate mass media.

Maybe the Declaration should have been…

Life, liberty and the pursuit of Contentment.

PS Every dollar helps me find the time to think and write solutions and poetry.